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Feb. 27th, 2007

i made a new journal. it is time for a change. this journal is so old and i hate the name of it and i hate a lot of shit that i posted in here. i'm going to add pretty much everyone who's posted in the last few months, so add me back if you feel like it.

elcharolastra
so i've dropped out of school and i feel free. except that i now have to get a job. rah. and that now i owe my parents buckets of money. but whatever, because i am free from school.

i was reading through an old journal i used to keep, and i mean OLD. i started it in third grade and kept it until the end of fifth. my first entry was on january 6, 1997. over ten years ago! crazy. and basically, gawd i was an idiot. i did find old pictures of my brother, cousins and male friends dressed up as women. i wrote about my very first crush on a boy. yes, that boy was the exceedingly wise, devastatingly handsome, coolest cat in school, rockwell buckminster schrock, who was indeed named after the guy who invented the geodesic dome. oh i had such good taste in men. lordy.

i was also nearly a head taller than colby back then. now he is 6'2", has gigantic feet, but still retains the same level of refinement. i told my dad that that means his refinement density has gone down and he laughed. i'd found an old picture that i feel particularly sums up my brother. he is wearing a bathingsuit and is standing with his back to the camera, yet is bent over and grinning through his legs. he must have been 6 or 7. i am getting a little bit closer to my brother. he's still a twat, and doesn't talk much, but we can still commiserate about mom and how high school sucks and how...well, that's it i guess. but since he doesn't talk much, i can just talk and talk and pretend he's listening, which he sometimes is.

i really hope i don't have to put my europe trip on hold. i was getting so excited about it too. i was especially excited about bosnia and croatia. gah. well, i might have to butter up my parents to see if i can remain in debt until next spring. we'll see.

this old diary is hilarious. jesus.

Feb. 6th, 2007

oh my god. TRIVIAL PURSUIT POPTARTS. BEST INVENTION EVARRRR.

this weekend was delightful. i hung out with sam poole saturday night. i adore him.

i think i'm going to drop out of school.
a boy kissed me tonight. i won't say who.

it's complicated and i really wish it wasn't. i don't know how i feel about it yet, but it has certainly put a smile on my face.

Oct. 18th, 2006

hit a high Eb in my lesson today. yikes. never did that before.

also stayed up till 2:30 this morning playing battleship with nichole. we couldn't sleep. oh dear.
i got stung by a bee during chorus today. the one time we go outside for class, i am a bee magnet. gah. i am very glad i am not allergic.
meh, i'm bored and depressed and don't have the balls to do anything about it.

in other news, i ordered a snakes in the rain umbrella. hah, that's the most exciting thing in my life right now. so sad.

PS: dude, sean cameron's back. he's such a pimp. <33degrassi.
i hate that i've turned into such a bitter old hag. jesus.

i also FUCKING HATE writing 100. it is so pointless. i think that by the time you reach college, you should be able to write. fuck writing 100 up the ass with a splintered baseball bat.

Sep. 24th, 2006

i am so fucking sick of douchebags.

in other news, i was the designated driver for my parents and their friends tonight. hearing my mother spout off sexual innuendo for half an hour was a surreal experience. but hey, i got window and ac control and i got to tell them to shut up when they were shouting "HE CAN'T GET IT UP!" really loudly. they kept criticizing my driving, while i was doing just fine, and i reminded them that their drunken judgement is the reason why i was driving in the first place.

i'm sad i can't hang out with sam poole this weekend. i have to catch him on a weekend when he's with his dad because his mom is a douche.

but yeah, going back to school tomorrow. it's ok. i like it, but i'm still not happy. blah. at least chorus is fun. it's interesting to be in a big chorus that actually knows what it's doing. the chorus director is insane. she makes us dance. i was not happy about that.

overall i just feel down. like, i have my moments where i have fun and i have made friends, but it just hasn't really made a big enough difference. i'm at least trying.

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